| The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything | The Students Who Don't Do Anything |
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Narrator: And now it's time once again for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song. Joining Larry are Pa Grape and Mr. Lunt, who together make up the infamous gang of scalliwags, the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! Larry, Pa, Mr. Lunt: We are the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, We'll just tell you... Larry: We don't do anything! Pa: Well, I've never been Greenland, And I've never been to Denver, And I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul, And I've never been to Moscow, And I've never been to Tampa, And I've never been to Boston in the fall. All: 'Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay home, and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, We'll just tell you... Mr. Lunt: We don't do anything. And I never hoist the mainstay, And I never swab the poop deck, And I never veer to starboard 'cuz I never sail at all, And I've never walked the gang plank, And I've never owned a parrot, And I've never been to Boston in the fall. All: 'Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay home, and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, We'll just tell you... We don't do anything! Larry: Well, I've never plucked a rooster, And I'm not too good at ping-pong, And I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall, And I've never kissed a chipmunk, And I've never gotten head lice, And I've never been to Boston in the fall! Pa: Huh? What are you talking about? What's a rooster and mashed potatoes have to do with being a pirate? Mr. Lunt: Hey, that's right! We're supposed to sing about pirate-y things! Larry: Oh... Pa: And who ever kissed a chipmunk? That's just nonsense! Why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think? Mr. Lunt: I think you look like Cap'n Crunch! Pa: Huh? No I don't! Mr. Lunt: Do too. Pa: Do not! Mr. Lunt: You're making me hungry. Pa: That's it, you're walkin' the plank! Mr. Lunt: Says who? Pa: Says the captain, that's who! Mr. Lunt: Oh, yeah? Aye aye, Cap'n Crunch! Larry: And I've never licked a spark plug, And I've never sniffed a stink bug, And I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball, And I've never bathed in yogurt, And I don't look good in leggings... Pa: You just don't get it! All: And we've never been to Boston in the fall! |
Narrator: And now it's time once again for Silly Songs with Erin, the part of the show where Erin comes out and sings a silly song. Joining Erin are Morgan and Liz, who together make up the infamous gang of scalliwags, the Students Who Don't Do Anything! Erin, Morgan, Liz: We are the Students Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, We'll just tell you... Erin: We don't do anything! Morgan: Well, I've never been to lecture, And I haven't read my physics, And I haven't done the problems with the masses as they fall, And I've never seen the library, And I've never read Othello, And I haven't worked on calculus at all. All: 'Cuz we're the Students Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, We'll just tell you... Liz: We don't do anything. And I never balance equations, And I don't know how to titrate, And I'm never late to reci 'cause I never go at all. And I never wrote that paper, And I never did my theory, And I haven't worked on calculus at all. All: 'Cuz we're the Students Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, We'll just tell you... We don't do anything! Erin: Well, I don't have a rubber chicken, And I'm not too good at soccer, And I've never squished my mashed potatoes into a garlic-flavored ball, And I've never kissed a frat boy, And I've never been run over, And I haven't worked on calculus at all! Morgan: Huh? What are you talking about? What's a rubber chicken and mashed potatoes have to do with being a student? Liz: Hey, that's right! We're supposed to sing about student-y things! Erin: Oh... Morgan: And who ever kissed a frat boy? That's just nonsense! Why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think? Liz: I think you look like Professor Plum! Morgan: Huh? No I don't! Liz: Do too. Morgan: Do not! Liz: You're not explaining this concept very well. Morgan: That's it, you're failing this class! Liz: Says who? Morgan: Says the professor, that's who! Liz: Oh, yeah? Whatever you say, Professor Plum! Erin: And I've never seen the X-Files, And my laundry's not in big piles, And I've never donned a bucket to go running down the hall, And I've never gorged on yogurt, And I don't look good in men's underwear... Morgan: You just don't get it! All: And we haven't worked on calculus at all! |